Scince i last update, my life had been a hard rock on my back, my weight has been yo-yoing like crazy, i went down to 101, and shot up to 112, family events, being watched, forced fed, is not helping whatsoever, i dont know if anyone feels the same way, but the more i loose, the fatter i feel, and want to loose more, it's horrible. i dont know if this is called deppression for i choose not to diagnose such stuff alone, i'm having this empty feeling in my heart, i always feel alone, i always avoid social events, i hear voices in my head refusing me to live my life, i'm trying my hardest to block them, but they're already taken over my head. another thing, i started school, a new school, in the first week i wanted to die, it's really hard, i feel like the entire hall's watching every step i take while i walk, i've made some friends, i have a friend who's a size 2 or 0, i always catch myself comparaing myself to her, the problem is she knows she's skinny, and she wouldn't stop telling us, im getting sick of it actualy.
I am currently around 107, I'm going to London in a week, and i refuse to go until i'm 104.
Have a great day everyone! tell me how you're doing.
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vampirehearrt's journal
uncomfortable